


could i be your earth, your heaven, your hell?

by A_I_Neptune



Category: Voltron - Fandom, Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Bisexual Lance, But Keith doesn’t love him back, Cuban Lance, Friends With Benefits, Gay Keith, Insecure Lance, Keith is Sad Inside, Lance in love, Langst, M/M, Sad lance, Unrequited Love, keith is bad at feelings, keith is guilty, klance, klangst, lance is in love with keith, lance snaps, oblivious keith
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-01
Updated: 2020-09-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:41:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26235829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_I_Neptune/pseuds/A_I_Neptune
Summary: lance just wants to be something to keith. anything. because keith is everything to him.
Relationships: Keith/Lance, Keith/Lance (Voltron)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 90





	could i be your earth, your heaven, your hell?

the quilt of plum and purple upon the curve of his neck should have spoken for lance. the hands pressed flush against the crests of his hips, the fingers stroking slow paths of ember along the surface of his bronze flesh should have told him that the boy lying in his arms was his. this keith could have been his favorite. this keith, bathed in morning sunlight, wound between the knots of sex scented sheets and bound between desperate limbs. this keith, flushed washed out ruby and bright with two twin pinpricks of blood rose upon his cheeks, with the low shadow of apathetic lust, with dizzying red wine lips puckered into a pout. this keith, with deep onyx tresses splayed out on the pillow, curling around the slope of a jaw dotted in perspiration. this keith could have been his favorite.

could have been his favorite, if not for the blossom of that entirely new persona he sometimes caught glimpses of. could have been if not for the memory of those same red wine lips melting into sugary strawberry, sharing saccharine conversation with another, someone who, though not marked upon the expanse of keith's skin, held a larger part of keith's heart than lance ever had. that precious, thudding organ composed of treasure and wilted love was shared sparingly, placed cautiously in the trembling hands of others, though never in lance's aching fingers. yet still, even the keith that belonged to him in the darkness of the night, in the fleeting scarlet moments shared in temporary peace by his side, even that keith could not be his favorite. the keith that lay in his arms stared at him with violet eyes glassy with vacancy, chilled with distance, even as the fearsome gleams of primal needs flashed before his vision.

the keith in his arms rarely shared true smiles, rarely kissed him with a fervency born from true passion rather than from boredom. this keith wore apathy upon the plains of his face, as it was his default around lance, no matter how many pleas lance whispered into his hair, or how desperately lance's hands grasped for keith's shoulders. 

the keith in his arms was a shadow of the one he longed to see, the one that only truly blossomed around the raven haired boy's childhood best friend shiro, and sometimes around pidge. and though the smiles keith wore in those instances were not for him, he still savored them with desperation, still blossomed and wilted at the sight of it.

this keith was his for now, but never anywhere else, and truthfully, lance would much rather be keith's. 

"you're thinking too much baby," keith's voice rasped in his ear, hoarse with need as hungry hands gripped at lance's trembling thighs. "c'mon, relax. this is s'posed to be fun."

fun.

yes. lance was meant to be fun to keith. that bored look in his eyes yearned for satisfaction, thirsted for distraction, and those firm fingers searched for fulfillment in the seams of lance's flesh. he was just fun, and he knew this, had accepted it. and yet still, his chest filled with hefty stones, rocks that compressed his lungs and weighed upon the edges of his burning heart.

he breathed out slowly. 

"sorry," he mumbled, attempting to paste his casual, confident smirk upon his mouth. he wasn't sure if it came across as believable, but keith had never been one for feelings. "got a lot on my mind."

keith sighed a long, suffering breath. a sort of irritated furrow appeared between his brows, and lance knew it was because he wasn't doing his job as keith's entertainment for the night. this theory was proved when, rather than pausing or attempting to decode the underlying notes of lance's washed out tones, keith only dragged a pale leg over lance's hips, pushing himself up so that he was straddling lance's waist. 

"well, forget about it for now," he groaned, fingers circling lance's wrists. lance laid limply as keith pinned them to his sides, a familiar fire stoking in the pit of his stomach, yet a pale want only just sparking within his chest. "i can help you forget about it. do you want me to top tonight?"

lance sighed. suddenly, the apathy in keith's eyes was draining. suddenly, his heart felt hollowed out, twinging with a numbed sting, and the disinterested twitch of keith's lips made him cold, so, so cold. he felt as though he were turning to crumbling marble beneath keith's touch, freezing into unforgiving stone as keith's heat drew farther and farther away from him. because although keith's weight was pressing down on him, keith wasn't there. there was just that burning need for distraction from the decay building up within his own chest, and the desperation of a man looking for happiness in the meaningless. 

and suddenly lance was so, so tired.

"can we not have sex today?" he mumbled helplessly, knowing full well that keith would not understand his request. "can't we just...i don't know...hang out? talk?" 

as expected, keith's face soured with exasperated confusion. a startled scoff burst from his curling lips. 

"talk?" he asked, lifting a brow. swiftly, he pulled away from lance, and somehow, he was across the room now, arms crossed and eyes brewing with an oncoming storm as lance lay shivering upon the frigid sheets. 

"what do you mean 'talk' lance? why did you come here if you didn’t want to fuck?”

"i just..." lance squeezed his eyes shut. "i just wanna talk to you. we don't...we never talk anymore keith..."

keith rolled his eyes. "we talk."

lance's lungs stuttered. he pushed himself upright, suddenly full of heavy, sunken hurt. 

"no," he cried out, and for once, the desperation eating away at him inside colored his voices in varying shades of sorrow, of frustration. he brought his clammy fingers up, wound them around his upper arms in an attempt to hold himself, to shield himself from that awful cold in keith's eyes, that slowly mounting anger at lance's complaints. "no, we don't talk unless we're having sex keith! we used to be something! we used to be rivals, and we argued, and we acted like we hated each other, but at least i felt something! and then we were friends."

"and we're still friends!" keith said, voice bordering on resounding thunder. 

"no we're not!" lance shivered at the icy surge of his own despairing exasperation. he drew his knees to his chest, buried his hands in his curls, tugged until the sharp pinpricks of stinging pain vaguely disguised the unbearable pain in his heart. 

"keith," he implored, practically choking on the word. "you don't look at me like i'm your friend. or your enemy. or...anything. you look at me like i'm your wall!" a dry sob choked itself from the back of his throat. keith stared at him, unreadable. his eyes were twin daggers cutting him down to the bone, and lance was so, so sad. 

"am i...anything to you?"

and slowly, to both of their horror, crystal tears formed a shiny film over broken blue. his lashes dipped as cobalt tears welled over the brim of his eyes, splashed upon his quivering cheeks. cerulean dye soaked his skin in sorrow. 

"lance..." keith mumbled hoarsely, standing paralyzed by that wall, that wall pressed up against keith's back, that wall basking in keith's warmth in a way lance couldn't, wouldn't. the glass of his flesh was shattering as the oceans inside of him rose and filled his lungs. keith was fire, and lance was addicted to his heat.

"i know i'm just...passing through your life keith..." lance whispered, eyes wide and glassy. like a broken doll's. "i know i don't mean much to you...but god...i would kill to be your earth, your heaven, or your hell."

keith flinched as strangled sobs burst like cracks of earth shattering thunder from lance's pale, quivering mouth. but, though shame should have been hot in his cheeks, lance couldn't bring himself to care. in the end, keith's indifference was lance's poison, and now he was nothing but a burned out object keith could no longer use. 

his mind was evading him, eaten away by the curdling icy venom surging through his veins and paralyzing his nerves, and he was unaware of how he ended up half dressed in keith's hallway, numbed feet ghosting over the freezing floorboards as keith called his name. 

"lance, wait!"

his name, his name, his name. 

lance was starting to think keith had forgotten it. 

"keith," he whispered, though he couldn't hear himself over the static of his own head. "i just wanted to be something to you, anything to you, you know?"

"lance—"

"because you...you're everything to me."

"i—wait lance please—"

"but, who am i kidding?" 

keith watched helplessly, stupidly, as lance gave him one last smile, strained and twitching at the edges of his salt stained lips. it was so vacant. empty. 

it was sickening.

"you could never love me."

**Author's Note:**

> a/n: hey guys!
> 
> i know this was really fucking sad, but did you like it? was it well written and is there any improvements you think i could make?
> 
> please leave comments telling me your thoughts and feelings and thank you soooooooooooooo much for reading!
> 
> i love you all, to infinity and beyond!
> 
> you are beautiful, each and every one of you. you are precious. you are breath taking and bring joy to all that meet you. you are so much more than good enough. you don't need to push yourselves or hurt yourselves, because you are doing so good already. your mind, your body, your voice, your personality, they are all beautiful and one of a kind, and i'm so glad i get to know even a little bit of you in this cozy corner of the internet. i hope you all smiled and ate well today.
> 
> i say this all the time, but please treat yourselves. you truly deserve it. just be kind to yourselves, treat yourselves gently. hold yourselves and cuddle up under the blankets in your favorite pajamas, with your favorite warm drink, and watch something funny or read something that makes you happy. don't be afraid to ask others for validation. they would be happy to give it to you. if you ever need me for validation, i'm here too. don't forget that i'm holding your hand, and if you need me too, i'll call you every pet name under the sun and virtually wipe your tears away. you don't even have to ask lovelies.
> 
> you are important and precious and worthy of only the best. 
> 
> so please, take care of yourselves, be kind to yourselves, and treat yourselves because you're special and you're worth it! (' ▽｀).。ｏ♡
> 
> i'm sending you all super warm virtual hugs!
> 
> eat and stay hydrated!
> 
> love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!


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